Translation of Adobe PR

This is hilarious. A Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Adobe’s ‘FAQ’ Regarding Their Acquisition of Macromedia.

I originally came across this ages ago and thought is was hilarious; but then I kept losing it, and it's not easy to find on the web.

Having found it again, I thought I better post it so I won't lose it again.

Here's a couple of highlights:

How many employees does Macromedia have?

Macromedia has approximately 1,450 employees worldwide.

Please note use of present tense.


Do you anticipate a reduction in force as a result of this transaction?

When two successful growing companies join together, the result is a combined organization that creates new and exciting opportunities. The combination will lead to powerful new areas of innovation, new products and solutions, and an acceleration of our respective growth agendas. At the same time, there will be some duplication of employee functions between the two companies, and upon the close of the transaction, we anticipate some level of reduction in force. While we anticipate the integration team will identify opportunities for cost savings, the primary motivation for this acquisition is to continue to expand and grow our businesses into new markets.

Yes.


Will all the reductions in employees come from one company or the other, or both companies?

Any potential reductions will be carefully considered and are likely to impact both organizations.

Have we mentioned that PDF is an excellent format for distributing résumés?